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Revenge
episode • Insight • news and current affairs • 51m
episode • Insight • news and current affairs • 51m
Content warning: this article contains references to sexual acts.
“I'd never screamed like that in my life before. It was the most visceral reaction, the tantrum-like rage that was almost primal,” Tom* told Insight.
“I just couldn't believe it. I started crying.”
Without Tom’s knowledge or consent, his then partner had taken intimate videos and photos of him. He'd used a hidden camera to film their sexual encounters and sold the content online.
“My immediate thought was how stupid I was. How did I get myself into this situation? As much as I was angry at him, I was equal parts angry at myself,” Tom said.
How common is image-based abuse?
Tom is one of thousands of victims of image-based abuse, which has been on the rise in recent years.
In 2020, Australia’s eSafety Commissioner received more than a 210 per cent increase in the average weekly number of reports it had received the previous year.
According to a, one in three Australians became a victim of image-based abuse, compared with one in five in 2016.
RMIT Professor Nicola Henry is an expert on , a term used to describe the act of taking an intimate photo or video of a person without their consent. It also includes the non-consensual sharing of sexual images.
Professor Henry attributes the rise in image-based abuse to the proliferation of sharing images, especially during COVID-19 lockdowns.
“With intimate partners not being able to travel to see each other, perhaps it was an increase in the numbers of people sharing intimate images with partners and friends,” she said. “That's not to blame the people who are sharing the images.”
Why the term ‘revenge porn’ can be problematic
According to Professor Henry, using the term ‘revenge porn’ to describe images being shared without consent is problematic.
“It implies that the victim of image-based abuse must have done something wrong to provoke the wrath of the perpetrator, so it has victim-blaming connotations,” she explained.
Tom believed his ex-partner acted out in revenge and as a form of control.
I was angry at him, I was equal parts angry at myself.Tom
He noted the dates when the intimate images and videos of him were uploaded online correlated with the days when they had argued.
“There was one time where we had had an argument about holding hands in public because I wasn't comfortable doing that so I pulled my hand away,” Tom said.
“It turned into a physical altercation, and when I looked back, that time and day of the argument is when he uploaded a photo of me sleeping naked in bed.”
Tom recounted another example of when his ex-partner retaliated.
“When he was washing up, there was a spatula that I asked him to hand wash rather than put in the dishwasher because it might have got damaged,” Tom said.
“Looking back, there was a video that correlated to that event, which was, he took the spatula, and he filmed himself ejaculating and urinating on it, and then putting it back on the rack.”
“I could link every video, every image to a certain event, no matter how big or small.”
Tom’s request for his ex-partner to take down the intimate images fell on deaf ears, which left Tom no other option than to contact the police.
He also contacted the website that published the images but said it was “extremely difficult to get these images removed”.
“I then engaged a lawyer who wrote to the website's owner. The owner said they could not guarantee my data had been erased and was not shared with third parties, so they ended up changing their policy to ensure consent must be obtained from all parties in sexual content before it’s posted, which is what we had asked for.”
Tom’s ex-partner was charged and convicted for the image-based abuse. He was deported back to his home country following his jail term.
Tom says the breach of privacy has severely impacted his mental health and sense of self.
“I feel dirty ... I lost my identity forever,” he said.
“My advice to others who find themselves in a similar situation would be to document all the evidence, take screenshots then contact the eSafety Office.”
“My [other] most important piece of advice would be not to blame yourself as you've done nothing wrong, there's no shame in being a victim. The weakling who did this to you should be ashamed.”
Professor Nicola Henry, from RMIT, says there are steps that can be taken if images are shared online without consent.
One option is to contact the person who shared the images and any recipients and ask them to remove and delete the content. This may not be a safe option for some people. Instead, they may prefer to make a formal report to the platform directly, to the police, or to the , Australia's independent regulator for online safety.
Digital platforms are able to remove the content and may have a policy in place. If digital platforms or individuals fail to remove content, the is able to get the material taken down on your behalf and take other actions under new online safety laws. These images can be removed regardless of whether the website of app has a policy on intimate images.
You've done nothing wrong, there's no shame in being a victim.Tom
Professor Nicola also told Insight that image-based abuse is a crime in Australia. Victims of this crime are able to go to the police and file a report. In order to have the strongest case, it is suggested that victims collect evidence of where it was shared and securely stored for police records.
*Not his real name.
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit . In an emergency, call 000.
Readers seeking support with mental health can contact Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. More information is available at . supports people from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds.
This story has been updated.
