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How to eat like a Game of Thrones character

From The Wall to the Red Keep, the lords, ladies, mercenaries and mothers of Westeros need sustenance to fuel their Machiavellian machinations and blood lusts. As we gather on our couches to happily endure the fifth season of torture, torment and titillation in the form of Game Of Thrones (starting April 13) let us first fortify ourselves with a feast fit for the ruler of the Seven Kingdoms. Spoiler alert for those who haven't seen season four!

Hearty stew

Source: Russ Crandall

While 'kingslayer' is perhaps the least monstrous of the titles one could give Jaimie Lannister, the appellation has stuck in Westeros. This Russian is not unlike the one-handed knight, it's attractive, multi-layered, and oozes charm when required. Slice a piece off with your Valyrian steel sword and contemplate your sister's acid tongue - and other assets.
Korolevsky cake
King's layer cake Source: Feast magazine
Never has a man so small in stature been so large of character. But as Tyrion Lannister found out last season, there are peculiar advantages to being small, such as being the right size to fit into a trunk or the right height to shoot someone with a cross bow while they're on the toilet - both positions Tyrion found himself in by way of a gamble. These are somewhat of a gamble, too, with the caramelised onion threatening to mask their gentle flavour but, unlike Tyrion's 'trial by combat' gamble, the prawns pull it off.
At the table: Lebanese mezza
Spiced prawns with caramelised onion
Nothing pairs quite so nicely with the bitter tannins in a goblet of retribution like a slab of pigeon pie. Demonstrating this utterly in the fourth season was the late King, Joffrey Baratheon, whose toxin-induced shade of purple brought smiles to the world (both ours and George R.R. Martin's). To recreate this happy scene, minus the poison cup, we recommend or this .
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Rustic chicken sausage pie
Trying to juggle the liberation of slaves while conquering cities and planning to reclaim the Iron Throne is hard enough for anyone, let alone having to wrangle adolescent dragons that go about chargrilling sheep where they stand. No doubt, Khaleesi, Mother of Dragons (and Holder of Too Many Titles) sometimes wishes she'd never stepped into that burning pyre. Life may have been simpler if she'd just used the eggs in this .
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Shan-style egg curry
Throughout Westeros people are losing their heads all over the place. Most memorably was the loss of Eddard Stark's head (season one), which his daughter, Sansa, later had the displeasure of viewing skewered on a pike, thanks to her monstrous betrothed. Get in the spirit by serving your guests a , complete with blood, trotters and brains. Sadly it was likely the crows who were the last to pick Ned's less elegantly plated brains.
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Pig's head terrine
While the Red Priestess can bake a demonic shadow in her womb that's quickly dispatched to do her bidding, it's a bit of a stretch to imagine her baking this heady, . Perhaps if she stopped with the seduction, sorcery, and scorching of those that don't believe 'the night is dark and full of terrors', she may realise it's not all that bad. Someone ought tell her to put her feet up and enjoy a piece of cake and a nice cup of tea.
Dark gingerbread cake
Dark gingerbread cake Source: Chris Chen

7. Get stumped

It's a safe bet, given the stump Jaimie Lannister now sports in place of a hand, that this isn't going to be high on his list of favourite foods, considering its rather close resemblance to what now fits snugly into his golden prosthesis. But that's a shame, because medieval-looking cut is incredibly delicious.
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Bavarian-style pork knuckle
As we brace ourselves for the very real possibility that our dwindling favourite characters will meet a uniquely nauseating death in season five, it's time to plan for the winter by making this . There may not be White Walkers or giants descending upon us, but it is getting colder and winter is definitely coming.
Hearty stew
Hearty stew Source: Russ Crandall
Watch our SBS Comedy Game of Throne Sketches: 

 

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SBS Food is a 24/7 foodie channel for all Australians, with a focus on simple, authentic and everyday food inspiration from cultures everywhere. NSW stream only.
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4 min read
Published 8 April 2015 12:42pm
Updated 14 April 2015 10:15am
By SBS Food bite-sized
Source: SBS

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